“Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body. The lust can take any form such as the lust for knowledge, the lust for sex or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food. Lust is a powerful psychological force producing intense wanting for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion”
I have had a lot of conversations lately about passion in a relationship, how to find the spark within a committed relationship, is it possible to feel that lust and butterflies that a new relationship brings even after years of a committed relationship? A lack of emotional intimacy in relationships is not uncommon, and as a result its absence causes strain, lack of communication, lack of care the other person, just take a look at a one night stand, where one person may vanish or act afterwards as though you were a commodity. No closeness, cuddling, soft kisses but an awkward silence and a ” I’ll give you a call” as they disappear out the door. This can happen/happens within committed relationships as well and I would like for all of you to do yourselves a favor of NIPPING IT IN THE BUD when you see it happen! I’m not talking about the “I’ll give you a call” part, I’m alluding to the lack of emotional intimacy. When you lose interest in your spouse, you lose interest in physical intimacy. When you are physically apart from your spouse, it becomes normal for you to be far away from him\her emotionally also. If your relationship with your spouse lacks physical and emotional intimacy your marriage loses all the glow of love and care… If a relationship has had no time to develop emotional intimacy before committing to sex, the chances of the connection going beyond the lust stage are remote as it prevents it from growing, and when a relationship has nowhere to go, it then stagnates, withers and finally dies.
Lust, instant physical attraction is a good example of sexual intimacy without emotional intimacy, as once the desire for the physical dies, which is inevitable without a deeper emotional bond, so each partner moves on. And this is happening more and more in modern society, and often it is females who regret having sex too soon. Women usually need to build a real connection with a man first. Sex does not bring about emotional intimacy, or interest to build a loving relationship, if this was the case, everyone with a one night stand, dates where sex takes place after one or two dates, would bond and go on to build a relationship. Emotional intimacy is needed if we are looking to feel at ease within a relationship, when we need support in times of stress, many situations in life cause us to need our partner, and without emotional intimacy it is then we realize just how empty a relationship can be. A lot of people desire a loving, committed relationship, but when it comes to ’emotional exchanges, opening up, find themselves holding back, or even backing off completely. The simple truth is that you make the tension from outside world rob you of the euphoric excitement it can give you. You can make your proximity exciting if it is an emotional and expressive display of your love. It is something so personal for both of you, isn’t it? Then why do you not enjoy it? Never let the intimacy between you become mundane and practical. It should be a spontaneous, exciting and electrifying need for one another.
When you have arguments with your spouse, you feel terribly upset and unhappy. When your spouse overlooks it and does not explain the reason behind the hot words uttered, you feel that your spouse is callous and uncaring. But when your spouse thinks that sex can make up for all the hurting words uttered it makes you feel repelled and nauseated. When the love between you flickers uncertainly, you fail to excite each other and your sex life is nothing but a mere physical need – More like an animal.
So back to the initial question, how to experience that initial feeling of lust that one feels in a new relationship, when it’s uncomplicated and exciting? I don’t have a respond to that and I will keep searching, I can promise you that! However, until I do have an answer I can share this…
If you seek a LOVING relationship…Build a connection FIRST!Physical intimacy is worthless when you are not emotionally close to your spouse. Your emotional intimacy means nothing when you are not physically intimate with your spouse. Both aspects are intertwined and inseparable and you need both to make your marriage work. It is the unbridled disclosure that makes emotional intimacy the height in which to achieve, so both partners experience the BEST SEX ever. It is also VITAL if a relationship is to grow, evolve and provide foundations to build upon. Without emotional intimacy, regardless how good sex may be, the relationship will die, sex never sustains two people beyond sex.